Separation.
If you've found yourself here, something has shifted. Maybe you've been thinking about this for a while. Maybe something happened recently. Maybe you're not sure what you want yet. Only that things can't stay the same.
This page is not about rushing you. It's about helping you feel a little steadier, a little more informed, and a little less alone in the unknown. Everything here can be read at your own pace, in any order, and in complete privacy.
Guides
Find what's most useful for where you are right now.
I'm still thinking about it
If you feel unsafe in your relationship
If there is control, fear or unpredictability in your relationship. Safety comes before any other planning. This guide helps you understand your options quietly and carefully.
Read the guide →Understanding your options — without committing to anything
You don't have to decide anything right now. This guide explains what separation actually involves so you can feel informed before you make any choices.
Read the guide →I'm planning to leave
Preparing to leave safely and practically
A calm, step-by-step guide covering safety, finances, documents, housing and building support around you — one step at a time.
Read the guide →Keeping your plans private and your information safe
Practical steps for protecting your digital privacy while you plan, including browser history, accounts, devices and what to keep secure.
Read the guide →Getting your finances ready before you go
You don't need to have everything figured out. This guide helps you quietly create a little financial breathing room: a separate account, a rough budget, the basics.
Read the guide →What documents do I need, and where are they?
A simple checklist of the documents that matter most — identification, financial and legal, and what to do if you can't find or access them.
Read the guide →I've just left
Your first steps after leaving — what to focus on right now
You've done the hardest thing. This guide helps you focus on what matters most in the first days and weeks, including safety, housing, money and support.
Read the guide →Telling people what's happened — who, when and how
You decide who knows, what they know, and when. This guide helps you think through the conversations ahead — family, friends, children, work.
Read the guide →Looking after yourself emotionally after leaving
Leaving brings grief, relief, fear and a complicated mix of feelings. This guide helps you understand what's normal and where to find support.
Read the guide →I have children
Separating when you have children — what to know first
An overview of parenting arrangements, child support and the legal framework around children after separation — in plain language, without the overwhelm.
Read the guide →Talking to your children about separation
There's no perfect script. This guide offers gentle, age-appropriate guidance on how to have this conversation — and how to support your children through it.
Read the guide →Preparing to leave
A step-by-step guide — at your own pace.
You don't need to do all of this at once, or in this order. Even one small action moves things forward.
- Choose the right moment — not during conflict
- Let someone you trust know what's happening
- Have a safe place to go if needed
- Keep your phone charged and accessible
- Set aside a small amount of money when possible
- Open an account in your own name if you don't have one
- Get a rough sense of what things cost on your own
- Understand what Centrelink support you may be entitled to
- Passport and driver's licence
- Medicare card and health information
- Birth certificates — yours and your children's
- Bank details and any shared financial documents
- A trusted friend or family member's home
- Short-term accommodation or a refuge
- Crisis accommodation if you need to leave quickly
- Speak to a free legal service — no commitment required
- Understand what you're entitled to
- Know what the process looks like before you start it
- A trusted friend or family member
- A counsellor or support worker
- A support service — no referral usually needed
- Use a personal or new email address for research and correspondence
- Clear your browser history after researching, or use private browsing mode
- Keep notes in a secure, password-protected app
- Take calls in a private space or use headphones
If you're feeling overwhelmed — pause here.
You don't need to do everything at once. Even one small action is progress — saving a little money, looking up one piece of information, telling one trusted person. This is not about perfection. It's about momentum. Come back whenever you're ready.
Trusted organisations
Services that can help — wherever you are in the process.
1800RESPECT
Australia's national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling and information service. Available by phone and online chat 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You don't need to be in crisis to call — they can also help you plan quietly if you're not ready to act yet.
Open their websiteFamily Relationships Online
A free Australian Government service with information about separation, parenting arrangements, property and family dispute resolution. A practical and non-pressured starting point for understanding what comes next legally and practically.
Open their websiteRelationships Australia
Counselling, mediation and family dispute resolution services for separating couples — particularly where children are involved. Available in person and online across all states and territories.
Open their websiteWith Her We Can
A network of women supporting women through life's hardest transitions. Peer mentoring, community connection and practical guidance from women who've been there.
Free legal support in your state
Find free legal advice wherever you are in Australia.
All services listed are free and confidential. A Women's Legal Service can help you understand your rights around property, children, finances and separation — without any obligation to take action. If you need urgent safety support, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 (24/7).
Common questions
Things women often want to know.
Do I have to go to court to separate?
No. Most separations are resolved without going to court. Many couples use mediation or family dispute resolution to reach agreements about property and children — which is usually faster, less expensive and less confrontational. Court is typically a last resort when agreement genuinely can't be reached.
What happens to our shared property?
Property settlements consider contributions both financial and non-financial, future needs, and what's fair in the circumstances — including assets built up over the relationship, not just what's in your name. See our legal guidance page for free services in your state.
What if we're not married — do I still have rights?
Yes. De facto couples have many of the same rights as married couples under Australian law, including in relation to property and parenting arrangements. The length of the relationship and whether there are children are both relevant factors.
How long does separation take?
For divorce, you must be separated for at least 12 months before applying. Property and parenting matters can be resolved at any point — by agreement or through the courts. There is no single timeline, and your pace is your own.
I'm not sure I'm ready to leave. Can I still get help?
Absolutely. Most services are available to women at any stage of thinking — not just those who have decided to leave. Getting information does not mean committing to anything.
What if I leave and want to go back?
Leaving is rarely a single moment. Many women go back before they leave for good — and this is completely normal. Support services understand this and will never judge you for it. Help is here whenever you need it.