Separation: Keeping your plans private and your information safe
If you're planning to leave or just doing research, your digital privacy matters. Particularly if your partner monitors your devices, accounts or movements.
This guide is practical and specific. These are straightforward steps that many women take.
Your phone
Use private browsing (incognito mode) when researching. This prevents searches from appearing in your browser history.
If you're concerned your partner has access to your phone, consider using a friend's device or a library computer for sensitive research.
Check whether your location is being shared — on iPhone, go to Settings > Privacy > Location Services. On Android, Settings > Location > App permissions.
Consider whether your phone is backed up to a shared account (e.g. iCloud family sharing, Google account) — photos, messages and location can be visible to others.
Your email
If you and your partner share an email account or your partner has access to your email, create a new account on a service they don't know about (Gmail, ProtonMail).
Use this account for any correspondence with lawyers, support services or housing providers.
Log out after each use.
Your browsing
Clear your browser history after researching: on Chrome, press Ctrl+Shift+Delete (Windows) or Cmd+Shift+Delete (Mac). On Safari, go to History > Clear History.
Alternatively, use private browsing so history isn't saved at all.
Notes and documents
Store sensitive notes in a password-protected app rather than standard notes (which may sync to shared accounts).
Apps like Standard Notes or a locked note in your phone's notes app can work.
If you're saving documents, consider a new cloud account (Google Drive, Dropbox) your partner doesn't know about.
In person
Take sensitive calls in private — in your car, on a walk, at work, in a bathroom.
If you're meeting with a lawyer or support service, it's okay to tell them you need discretion — they are used to this and will not contact you in ways that could be noticed.
Take extra care when planning your exit strategy. Our site has a range of support networks available for use 24/7.