Separation: Preparing to leave safely and practically
If you're reading this guide, you're probably making a difficult decision for you or your family. You might be thinking weeks ahead, or months. You might be in the early stages of gathering your thoughts.
Leaving safely and practically isn't about having everything sorted before you go. It's about giving yourself enough. That could mean enough information, enough resources, enough support, just enough to feel less alone in the uncertainty.
Before you do anything else: think about safety
If there has been any violence, control or unpredictability in your relationship, the way you leave matters as much as the decision to leave. Situations can escalate during separation, so it is important to plan ahead and place your safety at the top of mind.
Think about:
When is the safest time to leave? (Not during an argument)
Is there someone who can be with you, or know where you are?
Do you have somewhere to go immediately if needed?
Is your phone safe to use for planning? (See the digital privacy guide)
If you're concerned about your safety, contact 1800RESPECT or your state's crisis service before you make any moves. They can help you build a safety plan.
Getting your finances ready
You don't need a lot of money to leave. But having some of your own, even a small amount, gives you options.
Start quietly:
If you don't have a bank account in your own name, open one. Many banks allow you to open accounts online with minimal documentation.
Set aside small amounts when possible — cash from grocery change, rounding down spending, small transfers
Get a rough sense of your likely costs: rent in your area, groceries, utilities, transport
Look into what Centrelink payments you may be entitled to — the Services Australia website has a payment finder tool
Your documents
People often wish they'd thought about this earlier. If it's safe to do so, make copies of:
Your passport and driver's licence
Medicare card and any health records
Birth certificates — yours and your children's
Bank and superannuation account details
Any shared financial documents — mortgage, lease, loan agreements
If you can't access these safely, a Women's Legal Service in your state can advise on how to obtain replacement documents. Find their contact details on our legal page.
Where will you go?
You don't need a permanent solution. You need a first step.
Is there a friend or family member you could stay with, even briefly?
Are you in a position to rent privately? (A property manager can't tell your partner you've enquired)
Would you feel safer in crisis accommodation while you get your bearings?
If you have children, what would they need to feel settled quickly?
Building support around you
One or two people who know what's happening makes a significant difference. Do you have someone in mind you trust? This could be a friend, a family member, a counsellor, or a support service.
You don't have to tell them everything. You just have to let someone in.
Find reliable support networks on our page safety & stability.